10) You call people who use food stamps the “rich oppressors.”
9) When your spouse brings home the paycheck, you stick it in your pocket and dance around yelling, “my prayer’s been answered! We’re getting some toilet paper tonight.”
8) You ask your lawyer, “If I file for bankruptcy three times, do I get the fourth one free?”
7) Instead of lollipops, the teller at the bank offers your kids anti-depressants.
6) You fight with your wife about the best way to wash paper plates.
5) Compassion International gets you adopted by some children in South America.
4) Your dog checked itself into the local pound for a better chance of survival.
3) The place where you have your money was a Savings & Loan but is now a Savings & Loan and Chicken Shack.
2) You require a cover charge for people visiting your house.
1) American Express calls and says, “Leave home without it.”
This list was taken from a service @ Verve Las Vegas